1.23am
Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears is my fave song since my GESS days.
It follows me thru to my PJC days...
My 1st ang mo song, my 1st ang mo singer...
I never tune in to 93.3 or 98.7 when I was younger...
As a kid, I play my time away with my grandparents.
It was until Sec 2 tt I was officially introduced to FM93.3.
As a kid at home, mommy & grandparents love 95.8.
So Britney & her song becum my 1st love.
Haiz... Not that I dowanna zZz...
I feel tired, but I oso wanna write this down.
Lately, I seldom blog liaoz...
Now that exam is over, I have the time, so why not?
Every nite before I go to zZz, I will have a lot of tots.
Tots that I forget partially or completely once I woke up.
The worst thing is that I am too lazy to climb outta bed to pen those tots down.
I wasnt used to be so. I used to pen them in my countless notebook no matter how tired I am that day.
I guess I have changed.
I becum lazier by the day.
Amanda tinks I am weird yesday when I fone her.
I went out with Cyn today cuz it's her last paper for this sem.
Finally, exam's over!
We arranged to meet at City Hall after her paper.
Who knows that gal go & rem her paper timing wrongly...
In the end she ends up finishing her paper one hr faster than our appointed time.
So she visited Dawn who juz got back on Wed.
By the time I reached City Hall, it is oreadi 7pm & she is still at Bouna Vista.
So I went ahaed to shop at City Link 1st.
I noticed that today City Hall was unusually packed with alot of couples.
I begin to doubt if today is Valentine's Day.
I turn into Ig's Heaven, once I got in I turn round, the whole shop is filled with couples.
So is Kalm's & the shop beside it.
Even the place we makan, Han's, is oso lidat...
I begin to believe what Junlin used to said - whenever u are down u will meet into countless couples on the streets; which oso coincides with Cyn's theory of 'when u are broken-hearted, in ur eyes, all u can see is all the lovey-dovey couples' cuz u tend to be ultra-sensitive to the surrounding of filled with couples when u are broken-hearted. Ur eyes & sensor seems to filter out all the individuals & zoom in on all the couples.
Which brings me into my topic...
Why do I 'see' so many couples today?
When I was in Kalm's, I saw alot of Precious Moments stuffs...
Then I begin to recall what Peiyi & I chatted yesday...
Now I wanna add one more point to my 'what I wanna do with my bf' list. Hahahaha...
(Cyn brought that up last nite... I found that blog dated back to Aug lo...)
I am very greedy. I wan him to buy me all the Precious Moments figurines that I like.
Am I too much?? Hmmm... Cuz those figurines are really very expensive.
And the worst part is I have found a logical reason for all those figurines on display - reasons why he needs to buy it for me.
I esp like the one with the bride & groom one. I wanna grow old with u. Hahahaha...
Yesday, Peiyi told me alot of stuffs...
Stuffs I dowanna be brought up again...
Stuffs that saddens me alot...
I keep tinking that it will not affect me alot but then it keeps coming back to me...
I dun fell very good abt it at aLL...
I had a zZzless nite last nite.
It follows me thru to my PJC days...
My 1st ang mo song, my 1st ang mo singer...
I never tune in to 93.3 or 98.7 when I was younger...
As a kid, I play my time away with my grandparents.
It was until Sec 2 tt I was officially introduced to FM93.3.
As a kid at home, mommy & grandparents love 95.8.
So Britney & her song becum my 1st love.
Haiz... Not that I dowanna zZz...
I feel tired, but I oso wanna write this down.
Lately, I seldom blog liaoz...
Now that exam is over, I have the time, so why not?
Every nite before I go to zZz, I will have a lot of tots.
Tots that I forget partially or completely once I woke up.
The worst thing is that I am too lazy to climb outta bed to pen those tots down.
I wasnt used to be so. I used to pen them in my countless notebook no matter how tired I am that day.
I guess I have changed.
I becum lazier by the day.
Amanda tinks I am weird yesday when I fone her.
I went out with Cyn today cuz it's her last paper for this sem.
Finally, exam's over!
We arranged to meet at City Hall after her paper.
Who knows that gal go & rem her paper timing wrongly...
In the end she ends up finishing her paper one hr faster than our appointed time.
So she visited Dawn who juz got back on Wed.
By the time I reached City Hall, it is oreadi 7pm & she is still at Bouna Vista.
So I went ahaed to shop at City Link 1st.
I noticed that today City Hall was unusually packed with alot of couples.
I begin to doubt if today is Valentine's Day.
I turn into Ig's Heaven, once I got in I turn round, the whole shop is filled with couples.
So is Kalm's & the shop beside it.
Even the place we makan, Han's, is oso lidat...
I begin to believe what Junlin used to said - whenever u are down u will meet into countless couples on the streets; which oso coincides with Cyn's theory of 'when u are broken-hearted, in ur eyes, all u can see is all the lovey-dovey couples' cuz u tend to be ultra-sensitive to the surrounding of filled with couples when u are broken-hearted. Ur eyes & sensor seems to filter out all the individuals & zoom in on all the couples.
Which brings me into my topic...
Why do I 'see' so many couples today?
When I was in Kalm's, I saw alot of Precious Moments stuffs...
Then I begin to recall what Peiyi & I chatted yesday...
Now I wanna add one more point to my 'what I wanna do with my bf' list. Hahahaha...
(Cyn brought that up last nite... I found that blog dated back to Aug lo...)
I am very greedy. I wan him to buy me all the Precious Moments figurines that I like.
Am I too much?? Hmmm... Cuz those figurines are really very expensive.
And the worst part is I have found a logical reason for all those figurines on display - reasons why he needs to buy it for me.
I esp like the one with the bride & groom one. I wanna grow old with u. Hahahaha...
Yesday, Peiyi told me alot of stuffs...
Stuffs I dowanna be brought up again...
Stuffs that saddens me alot...
I keep tinking that it will not affect me alot but then it keeps coming back to me...
I dun fell very good abt it at aLL...
I had a zZzless nite last nite.
She asks me how I will react, what I will will say to him if I ever get to run into him in campus.
A question that has bugged me since 6 mths ago, before sch term starts.
I rem I did tink of that problem at the beginning of this sem.
& I acn tell u that my ans remains the same thruout.
I will treat that I never see him. My reason being I have very high myopia...
Itz true. Dun doubt me.
I rem there was a time when Amanda walk past me w/o me realising her presence...
They can vouch for me.
I only have an eye for non-living & non-moving objects.
I can't spot ppl in a crowd. That is me.
But then again, it is oso true that I dun wish to see him again.
& I have nutting to say to him at all.
I wun avoid him. He shud be the one who avoid me. Not me.
Anyway, itz not called avoiding. Itz juz that we wun have the chance to meet only. Get the facts rit...
True enuff...
I trusted him with all my heart & what do I get in return?
A heart full of wounds & scars.
Itz true. Dun doubt me.
I rem there was a time when Amanda walk past me w/o me realising her presence...
They can vouch for me.
I only have an eye for non-living & non-moving objects.
I can't spot ppl in a crowd. That is me.
But then again, it is oso true that I dun wish to see him again.
& I have nutting to say to him at all.
I wun avoid him. He shud be the one who avoid me. Not me.
Anyway, itz not called avoiding. Itz juz that we wun have the chance to meet only. Get the facts rit...
True enuff...
Thruout the whole sem, I have neva seen him in campus at all...
Initially, I muz admit that I try to avoid all the places that he might be caught seen in.
But as time goes by, I find it meaningless & I shud not be the one doing it. So I never bother where I am walking in campus.
I am determined. I believe I have all the luck.
After breaking with Stanley last time, I haven seen him again oso lo...
I wun be so unlucky to meet into him oso ba...
I know S'pore is very small... But I believe I wun be so unfortunate.
God knows I have suffered, he wun let me face my pain.
Peiyi tinks I hated him, that is why I dun wish to see him.
I dunno how to ans her.
I have no more feelings for him. I cannot tell if I hate him or not.
She says I sounded as if I am still angry with him.
Com'on man... I will be angry one lo...
Angry with him doesnt mean I hate him ba, I guess...
I mean if u dun bring it up, I wun know I am angry with him lo...
Cuz it is all tucked at he back of my mind liaoz...
Life is so peaceful cuz w/o him in my life is such a relief.
Now that she mentions it, I can recall vividly all the wrong things he did lo..
Of coz I will be angry & of coz I will say angry stuffs lah...
Hmmm... Does angry = hatred?
She says she wan us to be frenz back again.
She dun wan me to have this vengence with me all my life.
Impossible.
I can forget abt the vengence. I wun even seek revenge, but I can neva forget what he did to me.
Haha... I sounded like he is a big bad wolf rit?
Well, he is not THAT bad. Juz that I am angry, dun u understand (after reading to this part)?
I tink Peiyi meant well for me. But I can't let go.
Some things when they go wrong, they remain wrong all their lives.
U can't turn wrong back into right.
He is wrong, dun help him to convince me that I shud let him off, even if u meant well.
I can't & I wun.
I know he tried his best in our relationship. But that cannot make up for the all the wrongs.
One right doesnt = 2 wrongs.
What more he did more than 2 wrongs.
Now u wan me to say where he did wrong right? I cant tell u.
Itz very subjective, isnt it?
U guys out there may tink that breaking up by sms is fine.
But to me it isnt. It isnt at all.
How right can that be???
Do u like ur bf to text u & tell u 'Hey, we are incompatible, let's go our separate way, how abt that?'
If anyone's reply is 'ok. fine with me', pls email me.
Of coz the other party will try to find out wat went wrong isnt it???
Dun tell me u breakup w/o knowing the reason.
Then if so, I can say confidently that u din really LOVE that person & put ur heart & soul into the r/s, thus to u breaking up simply means breaking up.
I oso wish I cud be so xiao sa back then. U have no idea, I was hopelessly blind enuff I muz say.
I wanna try a r/s where I am the one ditching u & tell u 'Hey, let's break up!' & let u be puzzled all ur life why I wan a breakup.
When 2 persons are together, they break away from their frenz status to enter a r/s filled with commitments. If u cannot take that commitment, dun fall in love.
It takes quite a fair bit of commitments & trust & mutual respect in a r/s.
Initially, I muz admit that I try to avoid all the places that he might be caught seen in.
But as time goes by, I find it meaningless & I shud not be the one doing it. So I never bother where I am walking in campus.
I am determined. I believe I have all the luck.
After breaking with Stanley last time, I haven seen him again oso lo...
I wun be so unlucky to meet into him oso ba...
I know S'pore is very small... But I believe I wun be so unfortunate.
God knows I have suffered, he wun let me face my pain.
Peiyi tinks I hated him, that is why I dun wish to see him.
I dunno how to ans her.
I have no more feelings for him. I cannot tell if I hate him or not.
She says I sounded as if I am still angry with him.
Com'on man... I will be angry one lo...
Angry with him doesnt mean I hate him ba, I guess...
I mean if u dun bring it up, I wun know I am angry with him lo...
Cuz it is all tucked at he back of my mind liaoz...
Life is so peaceful cuz w/o him in my life is such a relief.
Now that she mentions it, I can recall vividly all the wrong things he did lo..
Of coz I will be angry & of coz I will say angry stuffs lah...
Hmmm... Does angry = hatred?
She says she wan us to be frenz back again.
She dun wan me to have this vengence with me all my life.
Impossible.
I can forget abt the vengence. I wun even seek revenge, but I can neva forget what he did to me.
Haha... I sounded like he is a big bad wolf rit?
Well, he is not THAT bad. Juz that I am angry, dun u understand (after reading to this part)?
I tink Peiyi meant well for me. But I can't let go.
Some things when they go wrong, they remain wrong all their lives.
U can't turn wrong back into right.
He is wrong, dun help him to convince me that I shud let him off, even if u meant well.
I can't & I wun.
I know he tried his best in our relationship. But that cannot make up for the all the wrongs.
One right doesnt = 2 wrongs.
What more he did more than 2 wrongs.
Now u wan me to say where he did wrong right? I cant tell u.
Itz very subjective, isnt it?
U guys out there may tink that breaking up by sms is fine.
But to me it isnt. It isnt at all.
How right can that be???
Do u like ur bf to text u & tell u 'Hey, we are incompatible, let's go our separate way, how abt that?'
If anyone's reply is 'ok. fine with me', pls email me.
Of coz the other party will try to find out wat went wrong isnt it???
Dun tell me u breakup w/o knowing the reason.
Then if so, I can say confidently that u din really LOVE that person & put ur heart & soul into the r/s, thus to u breaking up simply means breaking up.
I oso wish I cud be so xiao sa back then. U have no idea, I was hopelessly blind enuff I muz say.
I wanna try a r/s where I am the one ditching u & tell u 'Hey, let's break up!' & let u be puzzled all ur life why I wan a breakup.
When 2 persons are together, they break away from their frenz status to enter a r/s filled with commitments. If u cannot take that commitment, dun fall in love.
It takes quite a fair bit of commitments & trust & mutual respect in a r/s.
I trusted him with all my heart & what do I get in return?
A heart full of wounds & scars.
Call me xiao qi for all u want. I dun care.
Do u know how I got thru that period?
U have no idea at all.. U wun even know...
I dun even wanna tink back on how I got thru it.
Itz like a bottomless pit, I juz keep falling & falling...
& who came to my help? Not u.
Does he feel my pain? NO!
If he does, did he do anything to make things right?
So why shud I be the Miss Nice here?
I am no angel. I am nobody's angel.
The day he broke my heart, I live like a zombie.
The day he broke my heart, he broke my trust for him, for future r/s.
I shun r/s as if it was a ghost.
I had a hard time adjusting back.
By the time I finally adjusted back, it was all too late.
Too late... U get what I mean by too late?
Shall stop here for the time being...
I am getting too emotional now...
I have no idea how much more tears I muz shed to get this past me.
I wanna be strong. But the stronger I tried to get, the more fragile I feel I am.
I have put on my bravest front. Do u see my hard work? I have tried my best.
Pls acknowlege my effort like u acknowledge his. Thank you.
Do u know how I got thru that period?
U have no idea at all.. U wun even know...
I dun even wanna tink back on how I got thru it.
Itz like a bottomless pit, I juz keep falling & falling...
& who came to my help? Not u.
Does he feel my pain? NO!
If he does, did he do anything to make things right?
So why shud I be the Miss Nice here?
I am no angel. I am nobody's angel.
The day he broke my heart, I live like a zombie.
The day he broke my heart, he broke my trust for him, for future r/s.
I shun r/s as if it was a ghost.
I had a hard time adjusting back.
By the time I finally adjusted back, it was all too late.
Too late... U get what I mean by too late?
Shall stop here for the time being...
I am getting too emotional now...
I have no idea how much more tears I muz shed to get this past me.
I wanna be strong. But the stronger I tried to get, the more fragile I feel I am.
I have put on my bravest front. Do u see my hard work? I have tried my best.
Pls acknowlege my effort like u acknowledge his. Thank you.
I guess my 1st fave ang mo artiste sung out my feelings alrit.
This is one of my fave songs in my JC days.
This is one of my fave songs in my JC days.
From the bottom of my broken heart
"Never look back," we said.
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead,
emptiness behind.
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
all my joy through my tears
all my hopes through my fears
did you know..
still I miss you somehow?
From the bottom of my broken heart,
there's just a thing or two I'd like you to know;
you were my first love,
you were my true love,
from the first kisses to the very last rose.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
even though time may find me somebody new,
you were my real love,
I never knew love,
'til there was you..
From the bottom of my broken heart.
"Baby," I said, "Please stay."
"Give our love a chance for one more day."
We could have worked things out.
Taking time is what love's all about.
But you put a dart,
through my dreams,
through my heart,
and I'm back where I started again.
Never thought it would end.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
there's just a thing or two I'd like you to know;
you were my first love,
you were my true love,
from the first kisses to the very last rose.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
even though time may find me somebody new,
you were my real love,
I never knew love,
'til there was you..
From the bottom of my broken heart.
You promised yourself,
but to somebody else,
and you made it so perfectly clear.
Still I wish you were here.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
there's just a thing or two I'd like you to know;
you were my first love,
you were my true love,
from the first kisses to the very last rose.
From the bottom of my broken heart,
even though time may find me somebody new,
you were my real love,
I never knew love,
'til there was you..
From the bottom of my broken heart.
"Never look back," we said.
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
